


Seeing in Shades of Gray

by Oikawaii, sexyblueeyeddevils



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Levi Is Bad At Feelings, Levi is good dad, Lots of Angst, M/M, Prequel, demon babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-11-28 15:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oikawaii/pseuds/Oikawaii, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexyblueeyeddevils/pseuds/sexyblueeyeddevils
Summary: From early on, we are taught that angels are good, and demons are bad. No in between. And for a while, everything made sense that way. Clean cut. Black and white. Least that's what I thought until I met them.





	1. I Suppose This is How the Butterfly Effect Works, Right?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One Step to Heaven, Two Steps to Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798334) by [sexyblueeyeddevils](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexyblueeyeddevils/pseuds/sexyblueeyeddevils). 



> One of the other works I've been making to give me a break from Heaven Goodbye. I've had it in mind for a while now, as a prequel to One Step to Heaven, Two Steps to Hell by my ma, sexyblueeyeddevils. Basically this prequel will do a walk through of loose ACWNR, Levi's Squad, and Levi stumbling into parenthood with all the struggles raising two demons alone entails for an angel. If you haven't read the original, please do. It'll make everything make a lot more sense. Plus feels. And badgers. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Everyone remembers their first panic attack.

“Help! Someone! Please!” A small man fought his way through the crowd, pushing and shoving as he searched for something or someone to no avail. His breathing became labored after what felt like hours of clawing his way between bodies, no longer fighting the tears he struggled to hold back. He wheezed, “I can’t find my boys!”  
Gray eyes were diluted with tears to the point where he couldn’t see. He sobbed so horribly, it was though his own heart was ripped out from his chest. He’d never cried more in his life. Not for his mother’s death, not for his uncle’s abandonment and fall, not for the loss of his friends. It came close, but nothing compared to losing what he deemed were his children.   
No one was helping. Why was no one helping? Why was no one listening? They were gone. Taken. Two small children ripped from his side by tall, opposing beings. Ice blue had connected with steel, and he had known instantly what was happening. He had to stop it. He had to stop it. But when did this all begin?  
It must’ve been so long ago.   
****  
A lone heathen flew through the forest recklessly, bashing into the tree branches and tearing through foliage with dagger-like claws. The maw was drawn back in a twisted, toothy grin as it barreled past the land.   
Gold wings caught in the light of the sun shimmered as the angel closed in  
on its target. Trailing him were two others. Strikingly similar in humanoid features, but no two pairs of wings are the same. The scruffier of the two glided on the left flank, his overall larger structure and proportioned, dappled wings didn’t cope well in the dense woods. Typically, he led the chase. His nose was a holy gift in itself, specializing in seeking out demon stench. But once the enemy was spotted, he fell back into the formation and permitted other divine soldiers to handle it. This strategy their leader came up with himself prevented many casualties due to ambushes. To his right, another talented warrior. She was strong and coordinated, not to mention fast. Sparrow-like appendages zipped through the canopy. Together, their team was balanced and flawless.  
Almost flawless.  
Careening in from behind were two blurs of exotic and pale feathers. Their course was disrupted.  
“Damn it. Not these two again.” Cold blue eyes pinched shut for a brief moment. The two rogues flew erratically towards the titan ahead. Not only was this dangerous, but it was a direct violation of the scouting laws.  
“Erwin. He’s not far behind.” The bulkier of the two angels spoke up, crinkling his nose occasionally.  
It came as no surprise to them at this point. Nanaba, who remained level with the two men, was quick to take their forerunner’s attention. Far off to her right, another of their kind joined in on the hunt. He wasn’t remotely close to the demon or even Erwin’s little battalion, yet he had his dagger drawn. Dull blue eyes were honed in. There was no stopping him. Just in that split second, heterochromatic wings beat with such power and grace that it put him ahead faster that they could realize. 

Upon leveling with the beast, he sucked his teeth, “Filthy fucking monster. Whatever, at least that’s one less we’ll have to deal with.” He was momentarily drowned in a light as he willed his wings away. Using the momentum he gathered from flight, he spun himself midair and split the demons neck open with ease. Before he impacted with the ground, he summoned his wings and lifted himself to rejoin the other two.  
“Nice one, Big Bro!” A cheerful redhead grinned, proud of her ‘adopted’ kin.   
“’Big Bro’?” His thin eyebrows raised slightly at the nickname.  
“No time! Levi! They’re on our tails!”   
‘Of course they are. Isabel. Farlan. Separate.’ Both nodded to Levi’s orders and split up. They’ve never been able to catch them like this before. This time it was different. The scouts kept an even pace with the rogues, not allowing them to fly an inch further away.   
Isabel was the first down. Nanaba made hasty work by what seemed to be Mike’s cue and coiled her arms around her ruby wings. She screamed and protested as they lost altitude and even bit her captor a few times. Two more unforeseen scouts ambushed Farlan. They waited for an upbeat of his wings, a split second time frame, and threw a bolas at their base, immobilizing the angel as the freehanded scout nabbed him too.   
Ackerman refused to give in to the chase. Erwin was admittedly slower, bit by bit losing the smaller. He pronounced victory too soon and the look on Erwin’s face said it all. ‘My friend, you have fallen into our trap.’  
Levi couldn’t recall what made him look up but it was just in time to see Mike barreling down on him. How the hell did this guy find him? Levi’s human form struck the ground and immediately sought to fling the larger angel off. Being petite for once had its perks. Coiling his legs around the winged bloodhound, he flipped Mike over his head and slid under him. Just in time to come face to face with Erwin.   
“Enough.”   
Steele eyes darted around him. Isabel and Farlan had been detained. Just like that it was over.   
Levi shifted his weight from one side to the other and ran a hand through his hair. “Alright, shitface. What do you want.” He spat.  
“Don’t ruffle your feathers, now.” The blond smiled. “I extend an invitation to you and your brethren to join the fight against evil.” It was both metaphor and a literal invitation as Erwin offered his hand to Levi.  
Almost immediately it was swatted away. “Why should we follow you? Your rules are far too strict. Your hunts are not nearly as successful as they could be.”  
“I agree. Though I do have some new formations in the works, some I will be implementing soon. If you have any suggestions, maybe we can work together to compromise. And maybe we can forget that you and these other two delinquents were hunting out of any scouting regiment and recklessly endangering yourselves and other angels.”  
“Fuck you.”  
‘Levi…’  
‘Maybe we should do what he says, big bro. We’re already in deep shit. And maybe we’ll go outside like this more!’  
Levi shot Isabel a look. ‘Watch your damn mouth.’ Spoken like a true brother. Appearance aside, they acted much like siblings do. Attention back to Erwin, Levi finally agreed to give him their service.   
Maybe we’ll go outside.  
****  
“Isabel! Farlan!” The angel called out. He couldn’t hear himself over the rain and thunder. Not a damn sound. No angels, no demons. He cried out again in their shrill angelic language. Nothing.  
Levi pressed on, soaring blindly through the trees. A few close calls with brush ahead. He hadn’t the foggiest idea where he was. Where anyone else was. Where Isabel and Farlan were. Hindsight being perfectly clear, he resented leaving them to go on their own.  
He didn’t know the half of it.  
Damaged branches and splattered blood told the story. It was fresh, reeking of demon residue. Never a good sign. He picked up the pace, calling out again and again. No answer. Another wail. No answer.   
The only smell outside of the rain was the lingering stench of blood. Angel blood. It grew stronger as Levi followed the trail of destruction into a small clearing. That’s when he saw them.  
What was left of them.  
A large titan was hunkered over their bodies, crunching away at bone and tearing at the flesh beneath. It growled and snarled as it gobbled down chunks of angel, three barbed tails lashing in satisfaction.  
Faded turquoise eyes stared endlessly past him, while haunted gray were frozen in fear as they were when there was life still in them. Seeing their mutilated bodies was enough to break him.   
His new weapons materialized. With his grip so tight he could feel his hands bleeding, he lunged at the beast. It didn’t know what hit it. It jolted away from the direction of the attack in time to see its severed tails squirming like worms on hot pavement. Again Levi struck it, sending a wing flying. He was going to destroy it the way it had done his friends, the closest thing he had left to family. Another wing gone. Garbled cries of pain were met with screams of anger and anguish. The petite man dealt the final blow to the nape. Even in death as its body fizzled out, the beast wore that sinister smirk.  
The first breath Levi took after, he let out. Tears rolled down his cheeks. It was all too surreal. He was with them just moments before. They were talking, conversing, enjoying each other’s company, living together. Now, he’ll never see them again. Just the memories replaying in his head until he too perishes, with the screenshot of their dismembered bodies resting before him.   
A firm hand on his shoulder broke him away from his thoughts. He spun around, just short of slicing Erwin’s stomach open.   
He snapped, “Get the fuck away from me you bastard!”  
Had Mike not intervened, Erwin certainly would’ve been gutted.   
“If you’re blaming me for this, you are in the wrong.” What the hell was brows getting at. “All of you agreed to this. You knew the consequences at hand. They both died honorably fighting against evil. You did your best to avenge them and you did. These are not matters to squabble over. There is still evil out there, and we could still use you.   
“You can’t dwell on the if’s and but’s. We’re soldiers, Levi. We have to move forward and carry their strength and faith in us as we proceed.”  
Levi stood down. Weapons dissipated in his hands. He was defeated, exhausted and burdened with carrying on without them. But it had to be done. He pulled himself together, hanging his head after one last sigh.   
Erwin offered a solemn smile. More cautious this time, he rested his hand on the smaller man. “Come on. We’re still in the middle of a war zone. I think it’s time to fall back for today.”


	2. Don't You Know What Makes the Grass Grow, Heichou?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do, but it's very unsanitary."
> 
> This chapter is smol and full of filler. A lot of introductions and placement in time. After all, angels are immortal. Brace yourselves for the next couple chapters.. This story starts out with a lot of ugly. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope you all enjoy!

Levi wasn’t the same after that offense. He isolated himself, falling into the rut of his old routines. Every time he was confronted, it was “piss off, fuck off, shit off.” Shit off, really Levi?  
Smith at last cornered him. At Levi’s current status, he wasn’t enough to be deployed. He needed alone time. They finally came to an agreement. Levi was to take time off, and reside in a location outside of a human town where a lot of demonic activity took place. It wasn’t a complete vacation, but he acted as a last resort between the demons and humans. It was something he could agree to.  
He stood in front of the little house. It was one floor, one bedroom and bath. But that was really all he needed. The backyard was unnecessarily huge. About half an acre was fenced off with a decent-sized porch to match. Trees. Lots of big fucking trees. Gawking at the house again put a strain on his neck.   
Murmuring behind him let the angel know the moving crew Shitbrows sent was here. “So is that actually the Lance Corporeal?”   
“Be respectful!” A woman’s voice demanded.  
“He’s been through enough. The last thing he wants to put up with is your fangirling.” The comment from another man made two of the three stifle a laugh. The other fell silent at their remarks.   
“Captain?”  
Levi did a full body turn to face the four newcomers. Two younger vets, and two newer enlistments. The tallest of the vets kept his blond hair pulled back and facial hair neatly trimmed. The other’s dark brown hair was cropped. He pulled a seemingly rare and genuine smile. Going down the line was a total newbie. His undercut was poorly done, and boy was he cursed with a resting bitchface. Standing out among them was a young lady with almost peach colored hair and hazel eyes to compliment it. With all of them were most of the luggage Levi had requested to bring.  
She saluted then spoke, “My name is Petra Ral. This is Eld Jinn, Gunther Schultz, and Oluo Bozado. Commander sent us to deliver your belongings to your new outpost.”  
Levi nodded and unlocked the door. “Noted. Come on in, I suppose. If we can find it among all of this shit of mine, I’d be happy to make us all some tea.”  
****  
They said their goodbyes for the night. The lightshow in the sky threatened to release downpour any minute, and flying in the rain was never ideal. Levi understood that more than anyone. Petra lingered on the doorstep with Levi waiting by the front door.  
“Let us know if you need anything, okay? We’re here for you.” She smiled.  
“Thank you.” He tried his best to sound sincere. “I’m assuming you four are who Erwin is assigning to me?”  
“Only when you feel you are ready.” Petra bowed her head respectfully and summoned her amber wings. It didn’t take long for her to assume her place among the boys.  
Levi watched them trail out of his sight and shut the door. The house was silent. The soft rumble of thunder caught up to the flashes of lightning outside. When was the last time he had any sort of time to think for himself, about himself?  
Sitting in the living-dining room, he propped his feet up on the footrest and revisited an old pastime. In the light of the lamp and occasional flicker from sky, he read one of the older books in his possession. Hours went by and he slowly lost his train of thought. He stared at the words on the pages as they slowly lost their meaning.  
When you feel you are ready.   
His new squadron seemed nice enough. Erwin had handpicked them to meet Levi’s standards as best as they could. He hated to admit it, but he did a good job. Every one of them made this a promising group. Talented in their own ways. Something he could work with.   
Something about Petra caught his eye. He couldn’t place a finger on the feeling, but she was just pleasant to be around. Typical A type personality. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, he probably wouldn’t have said a word to any of them. He swore his voice was hoarse from being silent for so long.   
It was nice to have company. Especially those who are respectful of the homeowner’s space and energy. People were exhausting, and they got that. Not bad, Smith.  
The days following were busy. The home was nice, but it wasn’t Levi-nice. It wasn’t officially his home until he scrubbed every nook and cranny spotless. The backyard looked like a forest. Well, it was a forest, but it could use some healthy trimming. Same goes for the front. A nice time to reflect and relax.   
Levi couldn’t recall dozing off. He usually couldn’t. Whatever, he was ready for the day. Skimming his fingers through his jet black hair, he rose from the armchair. A change of clothes while his cup of earl gray was steeping and a hunt for his combat boots was enough to get his blood pumping. Off to a good start. Outside work first, then. The storm had left the weather cool and refreshing, with light breezes every now and again. Perfect.  
He slipped on his gardening gloves as he walked down the back porch. Vines and unwanted branches were first to go. With a pair of hedge trimmers, Levi clipped away what he deemed dead, a threat to the home in terms of damage, or just plain unsightly and unruly. It took about four hours, but he finally found his fence after untangling all the plants that claimed it.   
A short break in the shade permitted him to pat himself on the back for what he accomplished. Up next, grass and weeds. Or so he thought.   
Deep in the forest above, he heard the snapping of branches. Large, live branches. An eardrum shattering bellow gave it away. Demon. It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but his duties as a soldier came first. People’s lives were at hand and if it made it this far, Levi was the last resort. He was ready to face it head on.   
He called for his wings as the heathen appeared.   
“Captain!”  
The voice stopped him dead in his tracks. Catching himself after a stumble, he saw two of the angels he met earlier pursuing. Petra and Gunther gave chase.  
“We can handle this one, trust us!” They both affirmed.  
Out of nowhere, Oluo and Eld ambushed it, clipping its wings and sending it crashing into the ground. It reared up on its feet and let out a nasty snarl. Out of the corner of his eyes, Levi observed them signaling the end all attack. No. Not happening. The archangel opened his wings to his full expanse, deterring his new team. They fluttered around in confusion. Levi remained unarmed, and leapt at the beast’s neck. A swift takedown of something nearly twice his size. He hurried to the edge of the fence line as the demon attempted to claw and bite at him. Grounding himself firmly, he flipped the massive unholy creature over and pierced one of its legs with a sword.   
He turned to the speechless angels before him. “Not in my yard.”  
“Yes sir!” They all responded and immediately apologized for their inconveniences they caused him. The demon was killed in a matter of seconds after. As compensation for getting in Levi’s way, which he insisted that they didn’t, they offered to lend a helping hand.   
He couldn’t say no. He found himself for the first time in months with a lopsided smile. They’re good people.


	3. So Ist Es Immer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Edit- Wow I totally forgot everything. Sorry everyone, been a long week and longer semester. Little bit of fluff I suppose. Hope you guys still enjoy and thanks for waiting all this time!

Thirty years gone by, Levi seemed to be recovering. He established a bond among his unit. Together, they were unstoppable. A force to be reckoned with. Thirty years, not a damned soul got past them to that town, now flourishing. Demons came to the point where they refused to travel further than a certain radius from the town.  
Levi had more time to become self-aware. Being alone as long as he was, he found himself craving something more than just companionship. The feeling disgusted him. He spent so many years without anyone, he was unsure of what anyone was to him.  
Fuck all. This is some shit hormone-crazed teens worry about. Then again, three hundred ninety-seven is still young for an angel. Who was to say it wasn’t normal for holy beings at any age to experiment. However, he wasn’t into looking. If it found him, it found him. He was confused, and he was unsure of how to express it to anyone else. It was his own issue and unless anyone asked, it wasn’t his place to impose anyone on it.  
The unit could tell that something was bothering him, but they never questioned it. Levi kept many things involving himself to himself. The squad only knew of Levi’s mishap with his close friends. They knew nothing of his past, his family, or any relationships both platonic and romantic. But they respected his privacy. It was difficult for him to communicate anything and they weren’t going to press on the matter. When he felt it was time, he would talk.  
Fending off the outskirts of the forest successfully, the choir congratulated each other on a job well done. No injuries, no threat to humans, all flawless teamwork. Such an effort caused for a little celebration.  
To the mere mortal, they came in appearing like any other human being. Eld held the rustic wooden door open while Gunther did the same for the second set of doors following. The group was escorted to the bar by an angel in disguise, dark hair and bright brownish gold eyes. She ensured them that their presence is welcome and not a soul knew of their true forms.  
It was a rather nice bar. Not too loud, not too busy, and excellent service to boot. Levi couldn’t complain one bit. They were all having a great time.  
“I tell ya’.” Eld spoke up after taking a swig of ale. “That bastard brought back memories. I don’t think I fought something that big since I first joined. Boy did he know how to through his weight around.”  
Gunther chimed in, “I remember that one. I’ve never seen one with twin tails before. But I guess every demon is different.”  
“Big and armed? You guys took care of it, right?” Oluo questioned.  
“Without a doubt. Cut his head clean off. Though I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Gunther, honestly.”  
“You called, I came. We don’t leave out own for dead.”  
“Cheers to that.” Glasses clinked and the four took a sip.  
“What about you, Levi?” Petra turned to him.  
He thought for a moment. Discussing the daily grind wasn’t a normal thing for him. Levi couldn’t recall speaking anything like this to Isabel or Farlan. But that’s because they were there. Every sneaky mission they went on they went on together. His unit on the other hand, wasn’t.  
“Three.”  
They all looked confused.  
“Three tails. Twenty feet tall. With the most evil look in its eyes I’ve ever seen. If its skull didn’t dissipate as it did, I would’ve carved them out myself.” Levi’s voice was low. He slid the shot glass back to the bartender. Going hard tonight.  
Eyes glittered with wonder and admiration as they stared at their leader. They never pegged him as this violent, but it was always the quiet ones, right?  
Oluo brought the conversation back. “You took it out all by yourself?”  
“Yeah, I did.” A painful answer.  
Their fascination never let up as the night pressed on. They wished to know more. How strong was their strongest angel? What were the worst injuries he’s received in battle? How many demons or titans did he kill in one sitting? How fast could he fly? When did he kill his first demon? Why and when did he decide to fight them? Had he ever encountered any devils? Why didn’t he join Erwin to begin with?  
The petite man set the glass down with more force, “because I don’t work with seraphs.” A reference to his larger than life eyebrows had them in tears. Levi had loosened up after drinking all their weights in alcohol. Just enough to harden his tolerance for the next time he wanted to drown himself in these toxins.  
Light roughhousing ensued. The guys competed in arm wrestling, all to be floored by Levi. After paying and leaving the establishment, Eld and Gunther continued shoulder-checking and sizing one another up. Oluo was more reluctant, last time he got involved in sparring earned him an uppercut and nearly costed him his tongue. Nevertheless, the more the merrier.  
“Idiots, don’t hurt yourselves.” Levi chastised.  
Petra snickered, “try to sound a little more like their mom.”  
He shot her a look, “picking a fight with me, Ral?”  
She wasn’t intimidated in the slightest. Gold eyes locked onto the other angel with fire and determination. Hunkering down, she issued her challenge, “come at me!”  
There was a blur of feathers as the two took off after each other. They darted between the trees, breaking the skyline now and again in pursuit. He caught up with ease, but Petra would drop from the air or cut a sharp turn. All combat techniques, though it was mindless fun.  
Fun? When the fuck did I use that word last?  
They ran out of forest quickly, and land shortly after. Plummeting along the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean, the she-angel took him by surprise when she caught a sea breeze flowing through her wings and carrying her up past him. They made eye contact long enough to know that the point was hers. Levi had no time to correct himself, only time to brace for impact against the cold saltwater.  
It was indeed cold. The shock nearly shook him sober. Ooh was she going to get it. Breeching the surface of the rough water, he headed for a rocky shoreline. Heterochromatic wings beat a few times to shake the water off. They rested and repeated again.  
Petra landed softly a few feet from him. Speckled wings folded back as she approached. She couldn’t help but to smirk or stifle a laugh as the taller crawled away from the surf. She underestimated him. Levi grabbed the redhead’s leg before she could even react and threatened to knock her over. She broke her fall with a push from her wings but it was too late. He tackled her onto softer soil and almost had the opportunity to pin her for a victory. She dealt him a right hook to the jaw, a nice hit he had to admit. Certainly would be feeling that in the morning. Petra didn’t even think twice about apologizing and threw him off. Points were two to one now.  
She had him, but something about the fierceness in his eyes begged to differ. Petra loosened her grip on Levi’s soaked shirt, both seemingly lowering their guard. The fire burning in their glares died down to a simmer.  
Their lips touched briefly. Everyone always says a kiss is supposed to have that certain feeling about it. A spark, fluttering in the chest, but Levi felt none of those.  
Petra pulled away, “I didn’t feel anything. You?”  
“No.”  
The redhead rose to her feet and seemingly caught the other angel off guard with her response. She didn’t seem sad, maybe a little disheartened, but nothing more.  
“So you aren’t upset?” He asked.  
“Why would I be?” Petra was quick to reply. “You were honest with me about your feelings. Truthfully, I’d rather have you as a friend than dwell on my emotions and risk losing you, Captain.”  
Levi cracked a small smile at Petra’s words. She extended a hand to him and hoisted him up. They got a quick running start and took off, returning to the others.  
Looking back, Levi thought, this spot would be nice for some prime real estate. If you’re into that ocean view shit.


End file.
